How to Deal With Feeling Like a Failure

This article deals with the problems we all face after having a major setback. If you are experiencing severe depression because of your failure then please contact professional mental health services. They want to help you.

The Truth About Failure

When we fail at something, whether it be an exam, a project or a relationship, we always are quick to blame ourselves or the other people who were involved in the situation.

Sometimes we may even want to blame the environment.

For example, we may want to say that the reason we didn’t get a good grade in our exam is that we don’t have a dedicated space to study for it at home while all of our friends do.

Whoever or whatever we blame, the pain remains. We failed.

However, the truth of the matter is that what you might think of as a failure, someone else might think of as a blessing. You may not believe me however it is true.

The best way to demonstrate this is by looking at your past.

Is there something that you have failed at in the past? If so did you grow as a person from it? Did you change something about your life? Did it set you on the path you are currently on?

Whatever your past failures might have been, you need to understand they are never failures in the long term. In the long term, they are defining moments which made you who you are today.

This might all sound a bit wishy-washy, however, it is something important that isn’t talked about much.

The next thing to do now is to try and do something practical which will help alleviate the pain.

How to deal with it (with some actionable advice)

There is no real answer as to how to deal with failure and each of us is different. However, below are some practical things you can do that may help you get over the slump.

Option 1 – Write down all the things you are good at.

It sounds cheesy but this can get your mind into a positive space.

Option 2 – If this fails, make a list of all the things you’re grateful for.

Either one of these techniques should bring your head back in the correct frame of mind.

Next, try and think of the failure as something which you can learn something from.

Is there something that you realised that you shouldn’t have done? Maybe you should have worked harder?

Whatever it is, make a mental note that from today you will never do it again.

Finally, try and act on that promise.

What is something practical you can do right now that will help you never fail at this thing again?

Is it to start revising for the next exam today?

Maybe you need to message your partner and tell them something you haven’t told them before.

Maybe you need to put something in your calendar to remind you if you can’t act on it right now.

In the end, the main thing you have to do is be patient.

Time is the greatest healer.

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